Fibromyalgia and the Challenges of Parenting
Did you know that Fibromyalgia (FM) is a long-term, non-degenerative disease which causes serious limitations in the lives of sufferers? And as our Fibro Doctors explain to patients: “its average global prevalence is 1.78%, and women are more affected than men (3:1). [Moreover], due to the lack of objective diagnostic tools, it is a complex medical condition that is frequently unseen by patients’ relatives and [general practitioner] doctors” [1]. To that end, it is essential to book an online or in-person appointment with a Fibromyalgia Specialist who will arrange any necessary examination, tests and scans. After this, they will provide you with an accurate diagnosis, and draw up a Holistic Personalised Treatment Plan which you can get started on right away. This is likely to include a combination of standard treatments and the latest state-of-the-art therapies and injectable (including pain blockers).
Research shows that “Relatives’ better understanding of the disease, greater acceptance of new family roles, & improvement of patients’ work conditions are all interventions that may help reduce the negative impact of FM in the family context” [1]
Why Parents With Fibro Mustn’t Worry About the Impact on Children
Writing in Psychology Today, Jacob Teitelbaum, M.D., an well known internist and author, who has had substantial experience with fibromyalgia sufferers, notes that: “It’s been my experience that fibromyalgia in parents usually results in their children feeling even more loved and closer to their parents!”[2]. Indeed, our eminent team of Fibro and Pain Doctors are likely to concur with this. So how can sufferers explain their condition to their sons and daughters without causing them any trauma and heartache?
Well, it is recommended that you explain to your children that you have a condition that causes you problem and makes you feel tired, but that it is not dangerous or degenerative, and that your symptoms could improve after you receive a correct diagnosis and go on a treatment protocol. In other words, just let your children know that you have difficulties, but that your condition is not dangerous, is not life-threatening, and that if will not reduce your life expectancy. And that it will make you feel: “tired and achy sometimes – kind of like when you have a cold or flu. So you can’t do everything you’d like to do” [2]. So ask them to please understand that you will not always seem full of energy, but that you are always rooting for them, and that your ability to love them is something that FM will never take away [2].
Doing All You Can to Look After Yourself is Key
With regard to your relationship with your children and the rest of your family, as our Fibromyalgia Doctors always stress, it is crucial to be mindful that finding time to focus on yourself and your mental and physical health each and every day, is essential. And as we all know, if we are not at our optimum and the best we can be (which is of course, different for all of us according to our condition and circumstances), then we cannot give our best to our children and the others we love. And as Dr Teitelbaum states, our body has a”use it or lose it approach to efficiency” [2]. The latter meaning that if you don’t stay somewhat active, “you’ll de-condition and lose function” [2]. So even if it’s just regularly walking for a short while, or doing Tai chi, etc., keep it up every day. Moreover, here at the London Pain Clinic, our Fibromyalgia Specialists and Fibro physiotherapist are ready to give you guidance on this, and all the other aspects of FB management.
References
[1]. Vázquez Canales LM, Pereiró Berenguer I, Aguilar García-Iturrospe E, Rodríguez C. Dealing with fibromyalgia in the family context: a qualitative description study. Scand J Prim Health Care. 2024 Jun;42(2):327-337. A cited by the National Library of Medicine
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11003319/
[2]. Teitelbaum, J. (2011) “Parenting When You Have Fibromyalgia.” Psychology Today.
